Air Date: 02/05/13 What children really need in life is a sense of belonging and significance. When children defy a parent, they are usually speaking in code. Their behavior is a code and a display of the belief behind the behavior. It is important if you're trying to change behavior to understand the belief behind the behavior. Children need to feel connected and like they have a special place in our lives. Understand what to expect based on the capacity of your children. Younger children will not be able to stay quiet and patient for 20 minutes while you're on the phone, for example. But if you set a timer and tell them to wait five minutes and then you will spend time with them, they will gain practice and the fewer problems you will have. Hear more suggestions on this week's edition of parenting with Cheryl Erwine.