When there’s an agreement for change, partners tend to keep the agreement for a few weeks, then someone falls out, and the agreement fades.
Couples complain that problem solution are useless because they’re not kept anyway. Sometimes agreements aren’t kept simply because it’s hard to change habits; kind reminders from one another are necessary to reset, back to the agreement. Sometimes they’re not kept because someone didn’t support the agreement in the first place, and went along with it just to stop the argument. Accept that most agreements fade and you have to continue to cue one another for months until the agreement sticks. Ask if your partner still supports the agreement. Skip the annoyance part when they don’t support the agreement and just go along to stop the fight; shift into a new negotiation to solve the problem-again. You just start over and keep negotiating until you come up with a compromise you both live with. And yes, you have to keep cueing to reset back to the agreement.
