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Relationships with Dr. Jankovich: Listening To Emotions

Emotions and concerns about the future have been running high with the sequester and the pandemic.  

It’s natural, when listening to someone talk about their distress, to try to make it better-to diminish the validity of what they’re feeling; to try to talk them out of it; to tell them it’s not as bad as they think; to dismiss them by saying you don’t have time for this, or demean them by saying they’re ridiculous or over reacting.  None of these strategies help the person who’s upset.  The most supportive and kind thing to do is to simply listen without trying to get rid of their feelings-you listen and acknowledge you “get” what they’re saying, but you keep yourself from trying to make them feel better through any other means than simply understanding what they’re describing.  When they seem to run out of new things to say about their feelings, ask what they’re doing to soothe themselves, ease their fears, get enough sleep.  Just listening sounds a lot easier than it is. 

Dr. Jankovich is a former commentator for “Relationships with Dr. Rebecca Jankovich” and has been working as a psychologist since 1974.
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