Couples may argue over politics. One is conservative and the other liberal. Discussing differences of opinion can help you understand your partner’s beliefs and know them better.
It’s a problem when you don’t allow each other to have differing beliefs, or when you think you both have to be the same in all the ways you feel are important.
These discussions may devolve into fights, when one of you argues and attempts to change the other’s position to be the same as yours, or when you want them to see that they’re wrong and you’re correct. Then it can get ugly. Someone demeans the other, uses sarcasm to make fun of them, or launches into hyperbole that the nation’s core values are being erased.
Skip the fight by agreeing to allow yourselves differing opinions. Avoid intimidating or demeaning the other and change the subject when one of you can’t help trying to convince the other they’re wrong.
The goal should be to get to know each other to generate closeness, not to conquer or to be right.
Dr. Jankovich has been working as a psychologist since 1974. She works with a range of areas, including relationships, depression, anxiety, sleep disorders, grief, trauma, and struggles with life transitions.
The photo included in this story is licensed under Flickr Creative Commons.