It’s difficult to adjust to a divorce if you’ve been married since you were in your 20’s, and your life has been centered around family and work.
Focusing on family and marriage does not leave much time to focus on developing friendships and interests that entertain you. If you haven’t dated in 20 plus years, looking to your future can feel scary and empty. If one of you already has a companion, you may envy them with annoyance that they’re better off than you.
There’s hope. You’re never too old or too set in your ways to make friends.
Before you focus on dating, focus on spending time with people you think could be a friend; ask them to do things with you, ask questions and reveal information about yourself. Don’t spend too much time complaining about your ex and the divorce.
At the same time you’re making friends, force yourself to spend time alone so you find ways to entertain yourself. The skills to living alone can be learned at any age.
Dr. Jankovich has been working as a psychologist since 1974. She works with a range of areas, including relationships, depression, anxiety, sleep disorders, grief, trauma, and struggles with life transitions.