© 2024 KUNR
Illustration of rolling hills with occasional trees and a radio tower.
Serving Northern Nevada and the Eastern Sierra
Play Live Radio
Next Up:
0:00
0:00
0:00 0:00
Available On Air Stations
KUNR’s spring fund drive is happening now, and your gift to the station will go twice as far with a matching pledge from the KUNR Advisory Board!

Now is the time to act –
click here to make a gift to KUNR today or increase your sustaining membership and have it matched.

Friends Listen: Relationships With Dr. Jankovich

Man and woman sitting on stools at a table talking.
Chris (a.k.a MoiVous)
/
Flickr/ Creative Commons 2.0

There’s an art in how to listen to someone talking, whether it be telling a story or discussing a problem. 

It’s really simple—you just listen, sometimes ask a few questions, but mostly, you just listen. It's natural to relate your experiences to what the speaker is describing, to jump in, to tell a similar story of your own. This is tricky because the speaker may not be finished, may want to discuss their story without comparing it with your story, may even feel your story grabs the focus away from them and gives it to you. As you listen, keep your advice to yourself unless you’ve been invited to talk about what you think they should do. Whether you share your opinion, how you would feel in a similar situation, depends on how close you are with the speaker and how judgmental your opinion might sound to them; they probably didn’t tell their story so you could tell them they’re wrong or out of line. Intimacy grows when friends feel understood and safe—just listen.

Dr. Jankovich has been working as a psychologist since 1974. She works with a range of areas, including relationships, depression, anxiety, sleep disorders, grief, trauma, and struggles with life transitions.

The photo included in this story is licensed under Flickr Creative Commons.

Dr. Jankovich is a former commentator for “Relationships with Dr. Rebecca Jankovich” and has been working as a psychologist since 1974.
Related Content